Finding the right fit


I often buy shoes simply because I love how they look and fit when I first try them on. Unfortunately, sometimes on the  first or second occasion I wear my “perfect find” only to discover that they are uncomfortable.  Since I do not wish to admit I invested poorly, I usually wear them a few more times – maybe too many times –  until I finally decide their attractiveness is just not worth the pain my feet endures.  Can you relate to this?

The ill fit  is as a result of not properly identifying my criteria prior to making my selection.  I only took into account that I wanted shoes of a particular colour and they had to look flattering on my feet.  I had completely ignored the fact that synthetic materials do not “give” and that at the time when I purchased those shoes, my feet may have been at their smallest (feet size tend to expand after walking for a while or in the heat).  Furthermore, just standing in the shoes for a few minutes in the store is not reflective of how the shoes will perform. Okay, so shoes can be disposed of quite easily (I usually donate mine to the Goodwill Store) without too much distress and maybe this is a common mistake many women make.

Selecting a spouse, however, requires more forethought and consideration than buying shoes.  The good thing about selecting a life partner is that, unlike purchasing shoes, you can take your time to get to know each other before you invest fully into the relationship.  Time will allow you to discover whether the person is authentic (not synthetic) and whether any potential “corn or blister” will be outweighed by the advantages this relationship can provide for you.  Time will provide you with the opportunity to experience how you interact with each other under different circumstances. Will he be right for you as you progress with your own personal growth?  With time you will have more chances to observe how he interacts with his family, your family, his friends, your friends and others in varying circumstances. 

 Time will also give you more opportunities to learn his views and preferences and core values.  In short, the more you know your intended spouse, the more confident you will be that he is the perfect fit for you.  Too many individuals jump right into a serious relationship even before they have sorted out who they really are and what they want out of life.  Only when they have these answers can they determine who will be their right fit.

Spouses are not as easy to dispose of like shoes and  should be selected to last for a lifetime – his or yours.


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